Thanksgiving is a time for family, friends, and a hearty meal—but it can also be a chance to sprinkle in some humor. If you’ve ever found yourself at a gathering where legal discussions take a turn for the hilarious, you’ll appreciate these Thanksgiving lawyer jokes. Let’s give thanks for laughter as we dive into this collection that will leave you chuckling between bites of turkey!
Funny & best Thanksgiving Lawyer Jokes:
1. What did the lawyer say to the turkey?
“I’ll make sure you’re properly seasoned for court!”
2. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to Thanksgiving dinner?
Because they heard the turkey was on a higher level!
3. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
Retired—just like your Thanksgiving turkey!
4. Why did the turkey join a law firm?
It wanted to feather its nest with some good clients!
5. What’s a lawyer’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Litigation pie!
6. Why did the lawyer refuse to eat stuffing?
They said it was too convoluted for their taste!
7. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a lawyer?
A bird that can gobble up the competition in court!
8. Why did the lawyer file a lawsuit against the chef?
For breach of turkey—the turkey was overcooked!
9. How do lawyers celebrate Thanksgiving?
With a class-action feast!
10. What did the lawyer say when they were asked to carve the turkey?
“I prefer to stick to slicing legal fees!”
11. Why did the lawyer get kicked out of Thanksgiving dinner?
They couldn’t stop objecting to everything!
12. What do you call a turkey with an attorney?
Legal tender!
13. How do you know a lawyer is at Thanksgiving?
They keep bringing up their terms and conditions!
14. What’s a lawyer’s least favorite Thanksgiving side dish?
Injury sauce—too many complaints!
15. Why did the lawyer eat a whole pie at Thanksgiving?
Because they believe in full disclosure!
Short Lawyer Jokes for Thanksgiving
16. What do lawyers use to make turkey?
Due process!
17. Why was the lawyer unhappy at the Thanksgiving table?
Too many torts and not enough turkey!
18. How do you know a lawyer is good at Thanksgiving?
They can settle disputes over the last slice of pie!
19. What did the lawyer say to the mashed potatoes?
“You’re looking a little starchy today!”
20. Why did the turkey refuse to be cooked?
It didn’t want to be tenderized by a lawyer!
21. What did the lawyer say during the toast?
“To successful negotiations—may we all avoid litigation!”
22. Why was the lawyer late for Thanksgiving dinner?
They were stuck in a deposition line!
23. What do lawyers and turkeys have in common?
They both gobble up the profits!
24. How does a lawyer express gratitude?
By writing a thank-you letter—on official letterhead!
25. Why did the lawyer serve the turkey cold?
They wanted to keep it chill during the proceedings!
26. What’s a lawyer’s favorite Thanksgiving game?
Truth or Dare—but only if the truth is favorable!
27. How does a lawyer wish you a Happy Thanksgiving?
“May your turkey be well-prepared and your cases well-won!”
28. What’s a lawyer’s worst nightmare on Thanksgiving?
Finding a disclaimer on the dessert menu!
29. Why did the lawyer sit next to the pumpkin pie?
To ensure there was no filling error!
30. How do lawyers resolve Thanksgiving conflicts?
Through arbitration over the last piece of pie!
Cool Lawyer Jokes for Thanksgiving
31. What’s a turkey’s favorite legal term?
Habeas corpus—it means “You can’t cook me!”
32. Why did the lawyer refuse to play charades?
They didn’t want to be misrepresented!
33. What do you call a turkey that’s also a lawyer?
A feathered advocate!
34. Why did the lawyer go to culinary school?
To become a master of cooking the books!
35. How do you find a lawyer at Thanksgiving?
Just look for the one carving out a niche!
36. What’s the difference between a turkey and a lawyer?
One is a thankful bird, and the other is lawfully bound!
37. Why did the turkey refuse to go to court?
It didn’t want to be roasted!
38. How do you compliment a lawyer’s cooking?
“Well done, counselor!”
39. What did the lawyer say when asked for a turkey recipe?
“I object—let’s stick to the standard procedures!”
40. What’s a lawyer’s favorite Thanksgiving tradition?
The precedent of giving thanks!
41. Why did the lawyer stare at the turkey for hours?
They were studying the fine print on the label!
42. How does a lawyer prepare for Thanksgiving?
By drafting a motion to pass the gravy!
43. What do lawyers and Thanksgiving feasts have in common?
They both involve a lot of settlements!
44. Why did the lawyer write a book on Thanksgiving recipes?
To get published—it’s all about that legal exposure!
45. What did the lawyer say at the end of Thanksgiving dinner?
“Let’s table this discussion until next year!”
Conclusion:
Whether you’re at the dinner table or sharing stories with friends, these Thanksgiving lawyer jokes are sure to bring a smile. Share them at your holiday gathering and be thankful for the laughter that unites us all! Happy Thanksgiving!