85 Ham Puns and Jokes That Are Cured to Perfection

Welcome, pun enthusiasts and joke aficionados, to a pork-tacular journey through the world of ham puns and jokes! Whether you’re a seasoned punster or just looking to add some humor to your day, you’re in for a treat. So sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for a ham-azing adventure filled with laughter and groan-worthy puns.

Ham puns and jokes
Ham puns and jokes

Funny and Best Ham Puns

1. Why did the pig become an actor? Because he was a real ham!

2. What do you call a ham that plays the guitar? A jam session!

3. Why don’t pigs ever make good secret agents? Because they’re always getting caught on camera!

4. How do you fix a broken ham? With ham-dages, of course!

5. What’s a pig’s favorite karate move? The pork chop!

6. Why did the pig go to the casino? To play ham-ble!

7. What did the mama pig say to her naughty son? “You’re bacon me crazy!”

8. What’s a pig’s favorite ballet move? The ham-ballerina!

9. How do pigs write secret messages? With invisible oink!

10. What did the pig say to the mirror? “I look swine!”

11. What’s a pig’s favorite type of movie? Ham-let!

12. Why did the pig go to outer space? To visit the ham-stro-nauts!

13. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop!

14. Why was the pig’s report card so bad? He was always hamming it up!

15. What’s a pig’s favorite kind of party? A pig-nic!

16. Why did the pig join the band? He had the perfect drum-stick!

17. What do you call a pig that’s been arrested? Ham-cuffed!

18. Why don’t pigs ever clean their rooms? They’re too swine-y!

19. What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porky-pine!

20. Why did the pig take a bath? Because he felt like bacon!

21. What’s a pig’s favorite game? Squeal or no squeal!

22. How does a pig send a love letter? With a hambulance!

23. What did the pig say on a hot summer day? “I’m bacon!”

24. Why did the pig bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!

25. What’s a pig’s favorite hobby? Ham-ateur radio!

26. Why don’t pigs ever win at hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted!

27. What do you call a pig that knows magic? Hambini!

28. Why was the pig in the kitchen? He heard the food was bacon!

29. What’s a pig’s favorite movie snack? Pop-pork!

30. Why was the piglet always turning around? He was looking for his boar-friend!

30 Ham Puns One-Liners

1. What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!

2. Why did the pig become a chef? He was great at bacon!

3. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A lot of porkies!

4. Why was the pig at the hockey game? He heard they were serving ham-burgers!

5. What’s a pig’s favorite song? “Don’t go bacon my heart!”

6. Why did the pig go to school? To become a ham-bassador!

7. What’s a pig’s favorite city? New Pork City!

8. Why did the pig join the soccer team? He wanted to be a pig scorer!

9. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork chop!

10. Why did the pig become a detective? He was great at bacon clues!

11. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

12. Why don’t pigs ever get lost? They always know where the ham is!

13. What’s a pig’s favorite flower? A sun-flower!

14. Why was the piglet afraid of the dark? He was afraid of the big, bad wolf!

15. What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur? Jurassic pork!

16. Why don’t pigs ever share their food? They’re too shellfish!

17. What’s a pig’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!

18. Why did the pig become an architect? He was great at ham-drawing!

19. What do you call a pig that knows how to play piano? A ham-adeus!

20. Why did the pig become a gardener? He loved to sow his oats!

21. What’s a pig’s favorite game? Hogwarts!

22. Why was the piglet always so sleepy? He was always hog-tired!

23. What do you call a pig that knows how to ride a bike? A pork-cycle!

24. Why did the pig become a banker? He loved to bring home the bacon!

25. What’s a pig’s favorite TV show? Game of Scones!

26. Why did the pig become a comedian? He was great at hamming it up!

27. What do you call a pig that knows how to juggle? A pork-spinner!

28. Why did the pig become a scientist? He wanted to discover the cure for swine flu!

29. What do you call a pig that knows how to skateboard? A pork-rider!

30. Why did the pig go to the beach? He wanted to find some sandy swine!

Short Ham Puns

1. Oink-ceredibly funny puns ahead!

2. Hamming it up for laughs!

3. Swine and dine with these puns!

4. Trotting out the best pig jokes!

5. Hamming it up, pig-style!

6. Bacon us laugh with these puns!

7. Let’s pig out on puns!

8. Snoutstanding humor ahead!

9. Get ready to pig out!

10. These puns are hog-tastic!

11. Bringing home the bacon with puns!

12. Pigturesque puns ahead!

13. Trotting out the pig jokes!

14. Don’t be a boar—laugh!

15. These puns are squeal-worthy!

16. Sow funny, you’ll snort!

17. Trotting out the ham humor!

18. Snout-cious laughter incoming!

19. Don’t be sow serious—laugh!

20. Hamming it up for giggles!

21. Pork-fection in pun form!

22. Sow funny it’s unreal!

23. Oink-ceredible jokes ahead!

24. Trotting out the pork puns!

25. Swine-derful humor awaits!

26. Bringing home the bacon—puns!

27. Trotting out the piggy puns!

28. Snout-smackingly good jokes!

29. These puns are ham-tastic!

30. Oink-celent puns for all!

Ham Captions, Sayings, and Quotes:

1. “Life is too short to eat boring ham.” – Unknown

2. “You had me at bacon.” – Unknown

3. “Happiness is a slice of ham.”

4. “Bringing home the bacon.” – Unknown

5. “Everything is better with bacon.”

6. “Inhale the ham, exhale the negativity.”

7. “Stay hungry for success, but don’t forget the ham.”

8. “When life gives you lemons, trade them for bacon.” – Unknown

9. “Sizzle like bacon, shine like ham.”

10. “Bacon makes everything better.”

11. “Ham it up and laugh often.”

12. “Life is better with a side of ham.”

13. “You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not bacon.”

14. “Love at first bite: ham edition.”

15. “Bacon: the duct tape of food.”

16. “Make today bacon-licious.”

17. “Don’t go bacon my heart.” – Unknown

18. “Brunch without bacon is just a sad, late breakfast.” – Unknown

19. “Hamming it up is an art form.” – Unknown

20. “Bacon: because no great story started with a salad.” – Unknown

21. “When in doubt, add bacon.” – Unknown

22. “Pigs may not fly, but they sure can make us laugh.” – Unknown

23. “Sizzle like bacon, shine like ham.” – Unknown

24. “Bacon: the MVP of breakfast.” – Unknown

25. “Life is too short for boring food. Pass the bacon.”

26. “Rise and shine, it’s bacon time!” – Unknown

27. “Bacon: the ultimate mood lifter.” – Unknown

28. “Eating bacon is like a hug from the inside.”

29. “Bacon: the king of meats.”

30. “Let’s pig out and have a ham-tastic time!”

20 Knock Knock Ham Jokes:

1. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Ham.

   Ham who?

   Ham so glad to see you!

2. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Bacon.

   Bacon who?

   Bacon a cake for you!

3. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Pork.

   Pork who?

   Pork-chop! Let me in!

4. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Hamlet.

   Hamlet who?

   Hamlet me in—it’s cold out here!

5. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Piggy.

   Piggy who?

   Piggy bank—give me all your bacon!

6. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Omelette.

   Omelette who?

   Omelette smarter than I look!

7. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Ham sandwich.

   Ham sandwich who?

   Ham sandwich you some bacon!

8. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Hammy.

   Hammy who?

   Hammy a kiss?

9. Knock knock.

   Who’s there?

   Bacon lettuce.

   Bacon lettuce who?

   Bacon lettuce tomato!

10. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Ham bone.

    Ham bone who?

    Ham bone connect with you!

11. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Hamster.

    Hamster who?

    Hamster days are here again!

12. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Pork chop.

    Pork chop who?

    Pork chop off the old block!

13. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Porker.

    Porker who?

    Porker nose!

14. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Sizzle.

    Sizzle who?

    Sizzle be a great day!

15. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Bacon bits.

    Bacon bits who?

    Bacon bits of who?

16. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Hamlet.

    Hamlet who?

    Hamlet me tell you a joke!

17. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Porker.

    Porker who?

    Porker up some laughter!

18. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Ham and cheese.

    Ham and cheese who?

    Ham and cheese in the morning, please!

19. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Sow.

    Sow who?

    Sow glad to see you!

20. Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Grunt.

    Grunt who?

    Grunt me some bacon, please!

30 Ham Puns Questions and Answers:

1. Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested?

   A: Ham-cuffed!

2. Q: What’s a pig’s favorite type of party?

   A: A pig-nic!

3. Q: Why did the pig go to the beach?

   A: To find some sandy swine!

4. Q: Why don’t pigs ever clean their rooms?

   A: They’re too swine-y!

5. Q: What’s a pig’s favorite hobby?

   A: Ham-ateur radio!

6. Q: What do you call a pig that knows magic?

   A: Hambini!

7. Q: Why did the pig become a comedian?

   A: He was great at hamming it up!

8. Q: What do you call a pig that knows how to juggle?

   A: A pork-spinner!

9. Q: Why did the pig become a scientist?

   A: He wanted to discover the cure for swine flu!

10. Q: What do you call a pig that knows how to skateboard?

    A: A pork-rider!

11. Q: Why did the pig become a banker?

    A: He loved to bring home the bacon!

12. Q: What’s a pig’s favorite TV show?

    A: Game of Scones!

13. Q: Why did the pig become a detective?

    A: He was great at bacon clues!

14. Q: What do you call a pig that knows how to play piano?

    A: A ham-adeus!

15. Q: Why was the pig in the kitchen?

    A: He heard the food was bacon!

16. Q: What’s a pig’s favorite type of music?

    A: Heavy metal!

17. Q: Why did the pig become an architect?

    A: He was great at ham-drawing!

18. Q: What do you call a pig that knows how to ride a bike?

    A: A pork-cycle!

19. Q: Why did the pig go to school?

    A: To become a ham-bassador!

20. Q: What’s a pig’s favorite city?

    A: New Pork City!

21. Q: Why did the pig join the soccer team?

    A: He wanted to be a pig scorer!

22. Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?

    A: Pork chop!

23. Q: Why don’t pigs ever get lost?

    A: They always know where the ham is!

24. Q: What’s a pig’s favorite flower?

    A: A sun-flower!

25. Q: Why was the piglet afraid of the dark?

    A: He was afraid of the big, bad wolf!

26. Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur?

    A: Jurassic pork!

27. Q: Why don’t pigs ever share their food?

    A: They’re too shellfish!

28. Q: Why did the pig become an actor?

    A: Because he was a real ham!

29. Q: What do you call a ham that plays the guitar?

    A: A jam session!

30. Q: How do you fix a broken ham?

    A: With ham-dages, of course!

Conclusion:

And there you have it, folks— a pork-tastic collection of ham puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone! Whether you’re a bacon lover or just appreciate a good pun, there’s something here for everyone.

So the next time you’re feeling a bit low, just remember: when life gives you pigs, make bacon! Did these puns crack you up, or do you have some piggy puns of your own to share? Let us know in the comments below!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to grab a ham sandwich and ponder the mysteries of the universe. Until next time, keep smiling, keep laughing, and never underestimate the power of a good pun!

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